I have never ridden a horse. Nor a camel. Nor a donkey. Nor a
pony. Nor an ostrich.
A lot of extraordinary experiences are waiting for me. No
doubt about that. But most probably they will concern
something else. I have legs to walk and run, so what am I to
torment other creatures for? Why were they to carry me if I
still can carry me myself?
I have never drive anything pulled by anything
or anybody . . . . . . But that's not the point. Driving is
something different. Driving is not riding. Yes, I know. Yet
I can't keep myself from telling an extremely short story
how I once was going by rickshaw. Going – so neither riding
nor driving! Just going! Just being carried – sitting
comfortably and going - - - - Well, it happened long ago and
far away from here. I was young, and the rickshaw driver was
old. I was sweating due to overwhelming heat and sultry wet
air strangling my light body – his dark body was covered by
a torn shirt never getting dry. I was breathing heavily with
despair – he was breathing heavily with despair. But my
despair and his despair were different. I was feeling
strange. Suddenly I imagined that if I had had a whip I
would have cracked it, and if I had had reins I would have
pulled them. I would have tickled his sides rather
strongly…. What sultry thoughts in my half boiled head. Only
for a while… It shouldn't happen. Shouldn't be like that.
Even for the shortest while... It's always like it should
And when I am no longer able neither to walk nor to run? What
will I do then?
Then I will be able to roll. Let's hope. Let's suppose I will…
So, rolling seems very important, indeed. Very useful. Why
isn't it a sport? It could have at least several disciplines:
rolling up, rolling down, rolling on flat, passive rolling,
It might be that someone rolling – rolling
something or oneself – invented a wheel. Yes, it might be
so, however this is not the point, although a wheel seems an
invention as significant as sport . . . . . Really? For
millions of years the world could exist without a wheel, but
not without sport. Does it mean that bacteria did already
play games as absurd and preposterous as golf, football or
So, let's ride on wheels.
A bicycle? A motorcycle? A scooter?
A kick scooter. Yes! Why not? Why there is no kickscootering,
if there is cycling? Kickscootering indoor and outdoor. Road
kick scooter racing... Are there any roads here? . . . . .
If a kick scooter, then why not roller skates? Quad or inline.
Any. Ice skating is an Olympic game, while roller skating is
in circus or on the streets – why? What an injustice! . . . .
. . . But this is skating, not riding!
Yes! Skateboard! Of course! . . . . . No! I have never been a
skateboard rider. And I will never be. Most probably… And what
is a skateboard? It is a kick scooter with no handlebar. A
board is but a monstrous ski with wheels fixed to it . . . . .
. . . And then these wheels were unfixed, and thus we got a
snowboard. Is such order a right one? It may be wrong, easily.
The history of boards and wheels is very tangled.
Riding is very complicated. This is an extremely tangled
Are we here in a hurry? Are we rushing so much the legs are
Let everything roll lazily.
Let's compete in lazy rolling.
rolling lazily… I should take my bike and ride for a while to
air my head, to disperse rancid thoughts. But my bike is very
old. Black, huge, with no derailleur. The pedals turn
arduously. Something is creaking and scraping. I ride my bike
very seldom. Only to make shopping or send a letter. When I
need to do it faster than on foot. Usually I take the ground
path across fields, to bypass the mountain which I can't climb
by bike even having the smooth blacktop road there. I try to
ride as fast as possible to ride as short as possible, because
the shorter I ride the less I get tired. Is it sport? Probably
it isn't. And if it is not, what is it then? And if it is
sport, who do I race against? I race against this mountain
which I can't climb by bike.